How to Support Effectively an LGBT Teenager in Your Home

  1. Jill Andrews
  2. January 25, 2018 4:03 pm

How to Support Effectively an LGBT Teenager in Your Home

It is the most feared moment for the majority of parents and the most difficult to experience when your child comes out. Majority of parents will tell you that the dread the moment their child would sit them down to inform them that they identify as LGBT. Despite previous suspicions that a parent may be having of their child, the realization of the moment is not quite easy especially when you are sitting with your extremely nervous son who has rehearsed severally in front of the mirror before gaining the courage of informing you of his LGBT status. However, as much as it may be difficult on you as the parent, remember that this is an important moment not only in your life but also in the life of the teenager and it may determine the relationship you will forge on with your child. In as much as the coming out moment may be full of numerous emotions, worries, fears, and excitement, remember that it is important to make the teenager feel most secure. Most teenagers that come out express that all they need from their parents at the moment is validation and the assurance of your parental love no matter what and that they can turn to their parents for protection. As a parent, you can effectively support your teenager by observing the following tips.


As implied above, the coming out moment is frightening to you as a parent. Remember it has been more frightening to your child as he has struggled with it for a while and the child wants you to know and appreciate the real him or her. The child has debated on when and how to tell you and for quite a while has debated on what your reaction will be. If it is too difficult for you as a parent to accept your child as an LGBT, take some time to come up to terms with the situation. Avoid showing your fear and expressing your anger, abusing as well as degrading your child. Give them an audience, listen to what your child is telling you respectfully, and try as much as possible to show them they can confide in you and you love them. Take some time but do not make your child too anxious in the process.


Avoid Prying
Avoid questioning your child’s every decision, moves, and styles but instead, provide them with a forum to inform you of their coming out. Majority of LGBT teenagers will tell you that they are aware of their parent’s love, but, the reason why they do not come out to their parents is that they fear their parent’s reactions. Even if the child gains confidence and informs you of their LGBT status, do not ask them numerous questions all at once, which makes them feel they are under attack or investigation. Give the child some time to take you through their experiences. Remember your child still has the attributes you instilled in them. They are still smart, intelligent, disciplined and have a pleasant personality. They have only had issues with their gender identity and considering that they are struggling with adolescent issues as well creating a comfortable and secure environment for your child will aid in demystifying many mysteries they may be experiencing. Allowing your child time to share information will help you discover more issues within your child’s life as they feel comfortable with you.


You may have suspected your child to be an LGBT, but do not force the information from them. Let the child come out at their convenient time when they are comfortable to share with you. Confronting your child may place a wrong sexual label on your child, which may be detrimental for the rest of their life. Provide support to your LGBT child who has come out by creating an environment for self-expression, giving them appropriate clothing, allowing them to join support groups where they can get information that will demystify a lot of their experiences. Allowing children to express themselves helps your child gain confidence in you as their parent.


Reference to Your Child
Use the right pronoun to refer to your child. Avoid teasing them on sexuality issues. Minimize use of gender-related jokes that aim at attacking or making fun of the LGBT community as your child may sense a passive aggressive attack on themselves. Inform your child’s siblings, friends and teachers to avoid using stereotyping statements.